#wow i am salem

(Source: theplushbear)

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#at what point did i become squidward

(Source: drjohnwatson)

Fill so your followers can get to know you:

1. State your name: Danielle
2. State the name that your parents almost named you: Italia or, if I had been a boy, Lucas (which they saved for my brother)
3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? My sister, Francesca
4. Did anything embarrassing happen this week? The week isn’t over yet… Except something embarrassing to happen this afternoon during my driving test.
5. Do you miss your ex? nope, no, non, niet. Never. 
6. White chocolate or dark chocolate? White chocolate
7. Do people praise you for your looks? every now and again
8. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? I like to think red or black, but a lot of my wardrobe is unintentionally blue.
9. How do you wear your makeup? light foundation everyday, sometimes mascara, sometimes blusher.
10. What are some of your nicknames? Dani. Everyone calls me Dani now because of the new job. The little boy couldn’t say Danielle so… I’m Dani the nanny.
11. How many bedrooms are in your house? Well, I’m a live-in nanny so I have a little basement studio apartment thing with two rooms… and the house is absolutely huge.
12. How many bathrooms? N/A
13. Do you have a job? I’m a real life Mary Poppins… 
14. Do you have a car? lol maybe once I’ve passed my test
15. Do you work out every week? I look after 3 young boys, two of whom have special needs. THAT IS A WORK OUT.
16. Have you ever kissed someone you never saw a gain? Oh god, yes. Don’t remind me.
17. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? NO/ Although I sing on the tube when with the boys so…
18. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? whatever I have on hand
19. Do you like your eyes? yup
20. Do you think you are pretty? sometimes
21. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my boss, she wished me luck on my driving test.
22. How much money is in your account? I don’t know. Blissful ignorance.
23. Are you single? yep
24. Do you want kids? nope. never. I’m happy looking after other peoples kids.
25. Tell me what your backpack looks like: brown faux-leather
26. What celebrity do you think is hot? This would be a long list so I’ll give you one- GEMMA ARTERTON OBVIOUSLY.
27. Last movie you saw in theatres: Dredd 3D
28. Are you dating the same person you dated last year? no
29. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? yes
30. Have you ever cheated? no
31. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? um, i don’t think so
32. What do you like to do in your spare time? what is spare time? Cinema, tumblr, food, wandering around London aimlessly…

(Source: yittk)

a game of wifi

(Source: ladycomstocked)

mbti-junkie:

“Lannisters don’t act like fools.”

It’s awesome that to get to work all I have to do is walk up a flight of stairs.

loki-ten:

i alternate daily between being an introverted pretentious intellectual and a 5 year old child

(Source: mountmccabe)

“ It must take a lot of effort to be this lazy. ”

Going to the cinema with my brother this afternoon.

This means I have to get dressed.

Hate it when I get a missed call but I don’t recognize the number.

My brother is making animal noises from his bedroom while he plays on the PS3. 

This actually just happened.

• So, I went downstairs to see the family.
• And my sister was shooting my brother with a toy bow and arrow.
• And he was like, “You can’t kill me, I’m Thor.” He’s been comparing himself to Thor all day because he’s put on a lot of muscle and he thinks he’s the shit when he isn’t because he sucks. So actually he’s a lot like Thor during the first hour of the movie.
• So, then he sat down and I started tickling him.
• And he screamed and ran around the room and shouted, “You can’t hurt me, I’m STRONG!”
• And then he started shouting like Thor does when he can’t handle his emotions.
• Then my sister declared that she was Hawkeye and started shooting him with a toy bow and arrow again.
• 
• And my mum was like: “What’s a Hawkeye?”
•